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November 25, 2003
<SYSTEM FAILURE>
subtle indication ones computer is on its last breath: your machine makes an ominous clicking sound..
not-so-subtle indication ones computer is on its last breath: you regularly get the "blue screen of death"..
so since comin back from hawaii (that is how i now measure time), my computer has crashed four times. by "crash", i mean i cant start it up so i hafta use my pea-sized brain to bang violently against the cpu box in hopes that itll understand my frustration and come back to life..
haha, if only it were that easy..
actually, none of the crashes have been seriously damagin because ive been able to fix and recover from it each time. but its so damn frustratin cuz i could be doin something less unproductive like--um, readin fantasy football articles or playin gamecube--than fixin a stoopid machine whose primary purpose is to break down once the one-yr limited warranty has passed..
the latest crash occurred durin sunday nites fins-skins game and pissed me off for the 24-hrs it took to get it back up and runnin. i guess i only have myself to blame cuz i shouldve overhauled this machine or got a new one when the problems were first occurrin. and i shouldve backed up the hundred macgyver episodes i have on my harddrive thats goin to take like two days for me to do (hmm, i wonder wut he would do to speed up the backup process--maybe mix some chewin gum w/ a dash of baking powder?)..
but the great thing i found out yesterday was my brilliant wife suggested i look for the receipt--cuz since i bought it at best buy, i may have bought a service plan for it. i initially scoffed at the notion. "why would i have unloaded even more ben franklins?" but she was indeed correct: "see, i knew if i went w/ you to buy it i wouldve made you get a plan!!" haha, i guess we are peas and carrots..
so now im goin to get a new harddrive and hopefully, memory w/o payin an extra dime. and thus will end this nasty and bitter chapter in my life. after all, wut is a computer dork w/o a computer?
Posted by cpaik at 12:09 PM
November 19, 2003
coup d'extrovert..
"Your boyfriend is an introvert. He will always be an introvert. You are an extrovert and will always be same. And when introverts and extroverts try to behave against type, only one group is going to sweat through its clothes."
i came across this quote while readin a column called "tell me about it" which offers relationship advice for singles. and yes, thank you--esther and i are doin fine (haha). ive followed this column since its inception sometime in the 90s in the washington post. and i enjoy readin it cuz it gives me the voyeuristic pleasure of seein wut other people think and experience out there..
but gettin back, i was taken by the quote above cuz it describes somethin i agree is true in this world (and explicated in this article)--that when push comes to shove, it is often the introverts who get run over. and of course, for obvious reasons..
yeah, we dont live in a fair world so someone is always and should receive the short end of the stick. but how often extroverts are actually aware of their inadvertent suppression of introverts? true, introverts also fail to recognize their/our own selfish wants supercedin others'. but nonetheless, i think the scales are tipped more heavily towards the other side..
more than wantin this "injustice" =) made right, i just wanted to write about it cuz i thought it is so wonderfully fascinatin that such a dynamic exists between the dichotomous personality types..
Posted by cpaik at 05:58 PM
November 07, 2003
overtime..
damnit, another game goes in overtime (double)--its gonna be a long day..
but wut is it w/ these late-weeknite games goin into extra periods? i mean, ive watched two monday nite football ones and paid the price the next day. and now that bball is back, it can happen on weds and thurs..
at least its fri..
it made me think though, i can understand how basketball cant have a sudden death rule for OT. but conversely, i wonder why football does. why cant the teams play for the entire extra 15 mins and the game ends at the end of it, no matter wut the score is ? is it the fear of injury? utter fatigue? or lets just get da hell outta here as soon as we can? hmm, i dunno..
anyways, back to work..
Posted by cpaik at 08:23 AM
November 03, 2003
i cant believe..
..i spend my whole day in front of a computer, then when i get home i usually spend half the evenin there as well. ive been tryin to step away from the computer and turn off the tv lately (football and bball dont help) in an effort to be more literate. but it aint easy when theres so much goin on in the world and not inside my head..
- wuts the point of havin a goal? to go after somethin, right? but wuts the point of that? is it just to have somethin to shoot after so we wont be bored or lazy w/ our life? cuz if so, it seems awfully contrived..
- so i raked leaves last sun and this past sat. less than a day after my latest futile effort, i decided i would not rake again until december maybe january. i hate leaves and i hate the trees they fall from, esp when there are two of em whose leaves fall on my yard and my neighbors..
- so esthers applyin for a fellowship right now. a couple other people i know are applyin to go back to various grad schools as well. and it all makes me feel uneasy cuz here i am four yrs removed from college and still wake up each day not knowin where the next 365 will lead me to..
my parents--as most korean parents id imagine--have been insistently nudgin me towards goin back to school. a phone call w/ em rarely ends w/o some remark to that effect. and although i have a sincere desire to go back to school (more on this later), the contrarian in me is willin to not do so simply to rebel against their naggin youre-26-and-we-still-know-wuts-best-for-you nature. yep, im still goin thru puberty--youd know if you saw me cuz of all the zits on my face..
i do wanna go back to school cuz i think bein a little older now i recognize how many opportunities i squandered both in college and high school. i never gave classes the just attention or attendance. i rarely made an academically-pure effort to do my work--it was always about meetin the minimum requirements. and i never really went after anything--i just took the courses i had to take and elected to take other ones that were semi-interestin and easy..
now, i wish i could go back and do it all over cuz i feel like i learned 25% of wut i was taught. not sayin that id go back to redeem myself, but go back for the sake of learnin a little more of all the fascinatin things out there in the world..
- but the one thing that makes me apprehensive to givin grad school another thought are exams. i hate studyin for em and hate takin em. actually, it may be the loomin dread that i despise most--that feelin of a test waitin to devour you at the end of the week. or the next mornin. or even months down the line..
im not a test-taker--too passive or introverted for that crap..
- i think im realizin more and more how deeply passive-aggressive i am. mostly cuz esther is quick to point out my behavior when it emerges (and cuz she hates it)..
i wonder how i became to have so much aggression stored inside me--and why it expresses itself so passively. probly somethin to do w/ the way i was raised..
- a couple things i would like to do someday: write a good song, compose a good score to a movie, have the ability to imagine the entire construct for a novel, and to be able to dunk..
like any of these are out of my reach, theyre just out of my self-image--cept for the dunkin which really is a physical impossibility..
- oh yeah, ive decided to term myself as a devout cynic cuz im full of negativity and pessimism. i sometimes would try to see the optimism in life, but i think im too cynical to believe in such a thing =)..
- this is a weird entry..
Posted by cpaik at 05:53 PM