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January 30, 2004
good will to linebackers..
i remember when i first saw good will hunting, i thought it was like the greatest movie. so much so, that i saw it a second time in the theatres--course, thats not sayin much since i watched back to the future 3 FIVE times in the theatre in 7th grade (didnt everyone?)..
but now, i think of good will hunting as a pretty good movie. i mean the elements are still there: the flawed, human characters, a nice story conveyin a sense of movin on, and a beautifully subdued score (go danny elfman!)..
so i asked myself, how come i dont luv it anymore?
and i concluded it must be im no longer the same person i was when i first saw it. and as w/ a lot of things, we dont merely see or hear em--we experience em. and my response now is far different from mine then..
course, watchin it again reminds me of why i did like it so much junior yr. and it reminds me of who i was then. i guess watchin it is akin to isolatin a moment in my life, of which i can only remember w/ only ankle-deep clarity (as oppose to complete submersion) because i am not that person. kinda like how a particular smell (aroma or stench--your choice) or specific song can bombard your senses w/ an incredibly vivid memory..
sheesh, why am i writin like i pulled a 180 on my personality? and why am i writin about this film? i havent even seen it in a year..
- anyways, although much sadness will descend upon me come monday mornin when i realize there will be no more nfl games for another seven months, one thing i will be thankful for is not havin so many football articles to read. i plan to read those library books i checked out on top off several other ones ive been meanin to get to, but for some reason its nearly impossible for my mind to wander away from anythin other than analysis and commentary on this dumb sport..
i print out and read at least three articles a day off the web in addition to magazines and regular columns i read. gawd, football is such an awesome sport but because it is--and the weekly break between games (or two in this case)--theres so much damn analysis. and of course, i hafta pour over each one..
by the way, im just figurin out the effectiveness (and weaknesses) of a zone blitz..
- i like the pats to come out on top in the super bowl. and hopefully w/ a +5 margin cuz ive got a lunch ridin on it. but i shouldnt say "i like" cuz i dont see either team possessin much of an advantage over the other. breakin down the game into these six factors:
panthers offense pats offense
panthers defense pats defense
panthers special teams pats special teams
i think the pats and cats match up fairly well in all but one of those aspects: new englands offense facin off against carolinas solid front four and newly-invigorated secondary. although its obvious the pats dont run the ball very well--hence, the dink-and-dunk passin attack--im not too miffed by that fact since its almost the attempt to run that is more important than the actual production from the run. but its that bold, spread-the-field offense that can get new england into some trouble--esp if charlie weis (the offensive coordinator) gets audacious w/ his playcallin. and if carolina shortens the game w/ all the runnin they will undoubtedly due, the pats may not have enough time or possessions to recover..
so thats wut worries me. but ah, who cares--its not like i really have a stake in this game. except for lunch..
- hmm, i think i just wrote all the football crap above cuz i needed an outlet after havin read all that analysis. and its hard to tell the wife wut i think about the panthers gameplan when: a) she doesnt understand wut da hell im talkin about, and 2) she walks away or turns on the tv (understandably) as soon as i open my mouth..
- haha, by the way--i had a dream the other day that i was in the locker room w/ ten other guys who were about to take the field for a game. i think i dreamed of myself as a linebacker or somethin. anyways, that locker room meetin of football players somehow morphed into the guys team on the apprentice. and the project leader was pointin at me askin my why i shouldnt be the one who should be fired..
gawd, i am c-r-a-z-e-e?? frickin nuts..
Posted by cpaik at 06:37 PM
January 27, 2004
some lists..
been awhile cuz ive been lazy and been wastin my time w/ some football (simulation and nfl street)..
anyways..
- why im lookin fwd to this years superbowl: i get the sense that most people are not lookin fwd to this years superbowl from a game-standpoint. for me, however, i think it will be great simply because i luv defense and both of these teams are defensive standouts. belicheck (and d-coordinator, crennel) is the genius du jour and rightly so cuz he is able to just confound opposin offenses. john fox, on the other hand, has built a solid defense from its superb front-four and its secondary buildin upon each game thru the postseason. gawd, i sound like a generic sports journalist..
but it brings up a question ive often wondered about: why am i so fascinated and excited about defense? i remember when i first started playin bball, thats wut got me goin was playin defense. somethin about tryin to stop this guy w/ the ball from doin jack. even when i played floor hockey way back when in middle school, i luved bein the defensive center. i guess from those roots its sprouted into a general affinity for turnin the tables on the offense by dictatin to wut they will not or cannot do..
- books i borrowed from the library:
year zero - interestin premise and i enjoyed reader another of the authors books (the descent)..
the age of spiritual machines - ive been wantin to read about ai takin over the world..
the years of rice and salt - the title was interestin, the premise even more so..
butterfly economics - better than readin a textbook, nestce pas?
- reasons why snow sucks now that im "grown up":
1) shovellin - esp if its just gonna snow again in a few days. but then again, one has to otherwise the frickin sleet will freeze it over and then youre screwed..
2) shovellin other peoples sidewalks - cuz you hafta keep up the image of bein a nice guy. and you should cuz youre young and theyre not..
3) theres no such thing as a snow day - esp when workin for a hospital which can never close, even though i am considered non-essential staff (unlike poor esther). addin injury to injury is the fact that you hafta dig out your car and then risk your pathetic life drivin on the slick roads and moronic drivers who speed down hills in their little ford escorts..
- i cooked a cheesesteak sub the other day: not bad, although i realized its not how you cook it so much as the quality of meat you buy..
- reality shows: the last few weeks ive been pretty engrossed in the new real world series and the apprentice, although i found this weeks average joe kinda interestin because the producers went out of their way to recreate revenge of the nerds for us..
man, i havent been engaged in three reality series since survivor 2, the mole, and temptation island were all goin on in 2001..
- why technology rocks: bein able to revive a simple game like duck hunt is like travellin back in time and space..
all right, lets take on this freezin rain..
Posted by cpaik at 06:29 PM
January 16, 2004
goodbye, girl..
because of its law & order syndication ("we know drama!!") and nba broadcasts, ive recently been inundated w/ commercials for the goodbye girl. is it just me or is patricia heaton lookin kinda old?
anyways, the song that goes along w/ the movie--and that accompanies the commercial--is one i didnt really know. yes, its suppose to be this well-know song so i apologize for my ignorance..
now when i listen to music, i really only listen to the m-u-s-i-c. the words sung are interpreted more as tones than as actual lyrics carryin meanin. this perturbs esther to no end cuz she is one who listens FOR the lyrics and meanin--the music is secondary. me? its all about how it sounds. rock on w/ me, mungmung..
so esther and i are cookin in the kitchen and im singin the song cuz it sounds good and i cant get it out of my head. after a couple of repeats, esther turns to me and goes, "you know, those arent the right words.."
i, w/ my great understandin of self, replies, "yeah, probly not. i dont even know wut im singin. wut are the words, anyways?"
"baby, goodbye doesnt mean forever.."
"oh", i think to myself. so wut was i singin? i had to re-sing it to make sure..
"maybe our love doesnt really matter.."
haha, im such an idiot..
the first mistaken word is understandable cuz of the similarity in enunciation. but "our love" for "goodbye"?? dont even ask me where that came from..
although, how perfect are those words for a cynical guy like me. course, esther goes on to think its my subconscious expressin itself. "gee, i feel so secure now that im married to you.."
man, you hafta admit though--the song does sound good whichever way you sing it..
gawd, im such a shallow frickin weirdo..
Posted by cpaik at 01:26 PM
January 10, 2004
tapes of love..
so the CD deck in esthers car has been broken for a few months now (i know, i need to get it fixed). and durin the trip to st louis, we dug out some archaic items called "tapes". man, i thought some law had been mandated that all of em had to be destroyed, à la farenheit 451..
ill admit, it was tough for a bit--tryin to hear the song over the hiss, pressin fast forward and hopin the AMS would find the four-second space between songs..
but it made me miss one thing since the mp3 revolution: tape mixes..
remember those days when friends would hand you their toil and labor packaged in an audiocassette tape? when they spent 90 mins by their monstrous boombox, swappin one disc or tape for another to dub song-after-song just for little ole y-o-u? even as CDs dominated the stores and walkmans (discmans), cassettes still played in cars and dorm rooms because a friend had set aside a specific portion of time and energy to compile a collection of songs for you to listen to and enjoy..
true, w/ CD burners todays its much more convenient to create a mix--for you, a friend, or 50 friends. and of course, the sound quality is impeccable..
but theres just somethin about a tape mix--that sort of care and thoughtfulness that may never be seen or captured again..
and we say technology exists to improve our lives..
Posted by cpaik at 01:01 AM
January 09, 2004
return of the king..
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| its not showin off when theyre yours to show off.. |
so esther and i drove into work together on wed mornin. i usually listen to the mike & mike show on espn, but since esther (who cant stand all that loud, sports chatter) was in the car it was pleasant music floatin in and out of our ears that mornin..
so when i got to work and hit espn.com, i was flabbergasted. WUT??!! JOE GIBBS IS BACK??!!
it was unlike a feelin i had ever really experienced before: full of surprise, elation, and pure joy. and this may sound sacreligious to some, but to any washington dc-area native, gibbs return is bigger than mjs stint w/ the wizards. gibbs is basically the only sports icon in the dc area for the past 10-15 yrs. and his second comin might as well be THE second comin..
even for someone like me, whose true knowledge of sports has only really developed in the past five yrs or so, i remember--and luved--joe gibbs because he was MY coach of the skins when he was pumpin out superbowl after superbowl. his teams were so strong and his record so consistently successful (124-60). gawd, he was the man..
now, i hafta say im not 100% convinced his return will be an auspicious one. theres still dan snyder to deal w/. free-agency and the salary cap werent around in gibbs days. and the nfc east aint no cakewalk w/ philly and dallas powered by parcells now. plus, the record of great coaches comin back to do an above-mediocre job isnt great..
but knowin all that, im glad hes back. now, i actually have an incentive to go to a skins game..
- by the way, i always wondered why ravens fans hated the skins so much. its not like weve been much competition for em since the ravens got here. plus, we dont even play in the same conference much less division. i wonder if it rests in some kind of innate inferiority-complex baltimore as a city has since while it is own metropolitan community distinct from washington dc, it always is coupled w/ dc whenever referred to or thought of outside of the area..
actually, thats kinda how i feel when people tell me how nice it must be to be back "home". dude, "home" is almost an hour-and-a-half away so shut the frick up. haha, naw--but i think its funny how the cities get entwined like that..
by the way, though ive lived here for a year-and-a-half now and though i listen to ravens radio almost daily, i can not say the ravens are my team cuz while i respect the organization immensely, the skins will always have my heart..
man, sports can make any man get in touch w/ his sensitive side..
- so esther and i caught the first episode of the apprentice yester. it was actually pretty captivatin, esp for an hour-and-a-half (how many times am i writin this "and-a-half" thang today?) long show. i think wuts gonna make the show more interestin than the so-called tasks is the interaction between all the type-A personalities. i look forward to the catfights, the backstabs, and the feedback sessions w/ donald trump..
- man, there have been five great extinctions in earths history? and one basically takes place every few hundred million yrs? hmm, i wonder wut the point of extinctions are. its like two steps forward, one step back..
id say extinctions suck but in a way, its like havin a new piece of canvas to draw from..
Posted by cpaik at 09:53 AM
January 08, 2004
wut the blog is this?!
esther and i were talkin about this blog site of mine (which NEVER happens cuz she hates wut i write) the other day and said my entries are always so negative and pessimistic..
and for some reason, that made me happy..
i dunno why but i am a pretty negative person. i only started noticin this in the past yr. my bro-in-law asks for my opinion, to which he replies, "man, why are you so pessimistic?" esther then chimes in, "thats my charles!"
the other day, i was writin a response to some friends email concernin some matter and realized it was almost entirely dissident and unaffirmative. i then had to add in some niceties to temper my reply..
i wonder why my initial mindset--when it comes to nearly everything--is one of pessimism. why is it when i meet new people, my first instinct is to dislike em and distrust their motives? why is it when im told a certain movie is good, that i quietly think "it sucked" as i walk out of the theatre? why do i try to find the fault in everything?
i dunno--i guess the cynicism runs deep and everythin in this world is contrived. is there anythin wrong w/ seein the glass as half-empty?
Posted by cpaik at 01:53 PM
January 06, 2004
hey pulitzer, i found a winner..
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| i wouldve picked it up, but im partial to michael myers.. |
hmm, but wuts more disturbin: the fact the book actually exists or that the library has it in circulation?
Posted by cpaik at 12:31 PM
January 05, 2004
sportssportssports..
its funny..
i used to listen to music while drivin in the car..
..now, its all sports radio..
i also used to listen to music at work..
..now, its all sports radio..
my, how ive changed..
Posted by cpaik at 02:50 PM
January 03, 2004
friday nite nuthins..
i think i have this problem w/ livin in the present: i can almost never enjoy the now. esther once remarked how funny she thought it was whenever i would reminisce and lose myself in my own nostalgia..
for example, when i think of my time in switzerland i miss it greatly--the place, its distinction, and the people. but the funny pt is i dont remember particularly bein happy while i was there--all i could think about then was how much work sucked and how i detested those 7-8 hr bi-monthly transatlantic flights..
i am a contradiction, but isnt everyone..
- i came home today and after listenin to one of the tracks from the return of the king score, had this sudden compulsion to play one of the themes (the hobbit/shire theme--oh, its so warm and lyrical). so i dug out my violin and went at it for about an hr, screechin various soundtracks and some sheet music i had in the case. mercy be w/ the ears of esther and my neighbors..
but its funny how i sometimes have this strong desire to play or figure out the music im listenin to--esp soundtracks. like that hobbit theme, it had been goin around in my head for a few days now since i saw one of the trailers pronouncin it so elegantly. and since it was bein played by the violins, the urge was even greater. i guess for that im glad i have that fiddle box and guitar around--now if i could only fit a piano in my room..
- ya kno, i have a list of things i would like to do cuz i think it would be good for me. the most generic of which is eatin better and exercisin more. so wut compels me to NOT do that which is good for me?
i think people act to serve their self-interests, which is not to be confused w/ their best interests. and so idleness and minimal effort remain my gods..
haha, i suck..
- its weird, but ive actually had some level of interest in this yrs bowl games. i think its in part due to media build-up (USC vs BCS) and also of my increase in football knowledge. this time of year for college football is akin to march madness for college bball: so many games and so many teams w/ different strengths and often opposin philosophies goin at it--its just a fantastic sight to witness..
but i think the nfl still rules. things ill be watchin in this weekends wild-card games..
tenn @ balt - mcnair vs ray (and fisher vs billick)..
dallas @ carolina - mediocre offense vs mediocre offense..
seattle @ green bay - the team that cant win on road vs packer magic..
denver @ indy - portis vs indys run D, peyton vs playoff curse..
i really shouldve tried to get ticks for that ravens game..
Posted by cpaik at 01:29 AM