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February 25, 2004

til death do its part..

ya kno wut they call me here at work nowadays?

"leftover king"..

ive been makin a concerted effort to not eat out for lunch, so i obviously hafta bring in food. but since i dont feel like packin sandwiches, i just grab wutever pile of leftovers we have sittin in the fridge..

todays special: one-third of a hamburger, french fries made soggy by microwaves, and some boneless buffalo bytes. mmm, the all-american meal..

- so the past few days have been a trip down to different memory lanes..

i recently got back in touch w/ my roommate from frosh and soph yr cuz hes finally gettin married to his longtime gf (wut took so long, rk?? =p). its a lil weird cuz although we werent the closest of friends, its so good to hear from him--and hear great news at that--maybe cuz we always got along and lived together in those "formative" years when we knew nothin..

ill never forget the time he told me i once woke him up in the middle of the nite cuz i was screamin my head off. i believe he told me he feared for his life..

- also, i had dinner w/ a couple former co-workers (at my last job) last nite. i dunno wut it was--maybe it was all the hours we put in or the collective futility w/ which we viewed our project--but we had a great time workin together. as w/ all ole friends, we reminisced and laffed. made me almost miss workin over there..

- later, i got to thinkin as to that whole "bonding" thang that arises in group situations. ya kno, when youre workin w/ other people towards some end for an extended period of time and out of that, arises an unintended connection between all involved. and whether you achieve the goal or not, you can still reflect on the good times you had. its obviously best reflected in team sports, but i think weve all experienced that in our various workin and academic circumstances..

it may be just human nature to derive enjoyment and even utility from those connections and bonds. as if it enhances the practical, by makin the whole greater than the sum of its parts..

- wutever, i dunno wut my brain is flappin..

- um, does flibbertigibbet even look like a word to you?

- so clinton portis may come to the skins? and bailey sent off in return along w/ a 2nd-rounder?

ill tell you, when i first caught wind of this monday mornin i was off the roof cuz there may be no back more scintillatin than portis--quick feet, hits them holes harder, and oh those spins!!

but as time passed a bit, my excitement level tapered somewut and rational thought returned. the two basic arguments against the skins makin this trade are: 1) a shutdown corner is a much more valuable commodity than a top-flight runnin back; and 2) givin up a 2nd-rounder is in essence givin up a starter..

now, the biggest argument the skins can put forward is that bailey will not rejoin the team because he simply does not want to be a redskin. so he has to be moved and if one is gonna move him, it has to be for an equally big name..

contradictorily enough, i agree w/ both the counter-argument as well as w/ the first two. yet, as i myself am conflicted (cuz i would luv to have portis), in my gut the trade just doesnt feel right. maybe its cuz its the type of move that can strongly lead to disappointment. clinton portis is SUPPOSE to do well. he is a spectaculer runnin back and will be not only the feature but the key to joe gibbs gameplan. so if expectations are so high, how can great results be realistic?

i dunno--its tough. i want clinton portis. i like havin mark brunell hand him the ball. and i luv lavaranues coles flanked out on the side..

i just dont like givin up that 2nd-rounder. the skins would be left w/ only two picks in this years draft and as the pats proved, depth is vital..

i trust joe gibbs as a coach--i have no doubt he will excel there. but im worried about his personnel moves in his first season workin in free agency..

- and lastly..

i cant imagine wut its like to deal w/ death on a regular basis. esther gave me a call yester sayin she just found out one of her patients had died a couple wks ago. she had HIV and was only 30..

contrary to wut i initially thought, death is not all that regular in her life as a resident. i would say it occurs a handful number of times a year. but when it does--or maybe because of it--its pretty tough. or at least, it seems that way..

cuz as it is, death sucks. but for her, its not like these patients are strangers--they are people whom she sees, who visit her in the clinic regularly (hopefully, if they keep their appt), and in whom shes invested her work--in part, her life..

to bring it back to ME (selfishly), i dont think i have a real concept of death. obviously, im not placed in situations as she and other residents are. i would say i have yet to truly experience death firsthand (yeah, thats a real brilliant line, charles--of course you havent experienced it yet!!)--okay, up close. and for that i hafta be grateful..

and so, to imagine wut its like to see someone one day--to be w/ em, ask em how things are goin, shoot the breeze w/ em, etc--and then to never see em again....wow, i cant..

i dunno how she and everyone else who does real work in the hospital make it..

Posted by chars at February 25, 2004 02:26 PM