charles in charge

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May 28, 2004

fact or fiction?

heres a nonsensical question: if you could only read either fiction or nonfiction books for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

forget the fact, first of all, this is a ridiculous scenario..

(course, i bother esther w/ questions like these ALL the time: if you had to be blind or deaf, which one would it be? if either stella or cocoa had to die, who would you choose? if stella or I had to die, who would you choose? and thats only the beginnin of the morbidity-fun..)

but i think its a pretty interestin dilemna cuz each has a strong pro..

for non-fiction, theres the limitless possibility of learnin. facts abound and one can only add to his knowledge of--well, everything..

for fiction, to delve into someones mind and uncover his imaginative capacity by readin the words hes strung together is amazin. to be exposed to great creavity is wut makes writin an art, right?

thing is, its a stoopid question cuz i dont think we could ever really separate one from the other; after all, novels often contain bits of fact or are set in "reality"..

im an idiot, so forget i asked..

- havin gotten enough sleep last nite, i woke up bright and fresh as a mornin person like me should. so since esther and i drove into work together, i was apparently this yappy little chatterbox. witness our conversation--er, my monologue..

"why are we slowin down? wuts wrong w/ that truck? finally, here at the garage. whys that person walkin into our path? look, theres a spot over here! wut, turn NOW??!! but you usually park over there!! <close car door> man, its hot out here. i hope no one keys your car today. look, a california plate--wanna move there?!"

(esther thinkin to herself: "thank GAWD we re here now so i dont hafta keep listenin to mr motormouth!!")

haha, and people think im quiet..

- im not an avid simpsons fanatic, but found this map of springfield to be pretty coo. now if it was law & order, that mightve been me who was crazy enough to chart the place out (actually, its not too late)..

- every pimp needs a pimpin name..

hows Vicious D. Charles Luthor sound?!

or Master Fly Paik Dazzle?!

naw, i think im more of a Magic Tickle. Charles Love!!

Posted by cpaik at 05:17 PM

May 27, 2004

fontness..

for some reason, i was thinkin about how different and unique the logos were for certain films, like indiana jones and star trek. and it occurred to me there must be some place to download movie fonts. so when youre up late at nite, tryin hard to spruce up your professional-lookin document and feel Times New Roman is too monotonous or Arial (where do they come up w/ these names??) is over-inundating the reader, then try somethin new to impress:

theres a good list here..

and some others over here..

- for some other reason, i was thinkin bout how funny it is to watch people bowl. in particular, how unique he or she celebrates after nailin a strike. cuz when i thought about it, we see athletes celebrate all the time after a tomahawk dunk or scorin a TD--we see their charisma and personality shine through that momentary and minute accomplishment. but us ordinary folk dont really have those moments outside of bball games and bowlin alleys..

so i think its coo to see our reactions--and hence, ourselves--when we re there. cuz you gotta admit, we are pretty damn funny..

the showboat - hands in the air, straight-faced, and thinkin, "just sit back and enjoy as i unleash this perfect game"..

the malcontent - quickly turns around to walk back to his seat, not even botherin to see how many pins fall. "bowlin sucks!!"

the girl - okay, im sorry im makin a big stereotype but i couldnt think up a better name. we know this type: never bowled before in her entire life, needs both hands to carry the 7-lb ball, gently pushes it down the lane, and w/o explanation, all the pins tumble to the ground (of course, this whole process takes 10 mins). she then immediately screams at a pitch discernible only to dogs (yes, that means us males) and goes on to embarrass the rest of her friends w/ her euphoric glee..

the "all-pro" - takes his game WAY TOO seriously by not only bringin his own ball, but also pullin out a fresh pair of laces for his custom-fit shoes. his celebration is in retainin a picture-perfect, 60-degree follow-thru pose for half-a-minute..

the passive-aggressive - after hittin a strike, turns around embarrassed by all the acclaim and adulation, promptin him to lower his head as he tries avoidin eye-contact w/ anyone. yet thinks to himself, "ooh yeaaah, i am a bada$$"..

the jester - he doesnt care about the game, only comin up w/ a new hilarious pose for the uproarious crowd..

course, if everyones reaction is so unique how can i categorize em into these types? haha..

by the way, theres gotta be some internet quiz for this already, right?

Posted by cpaik at 05:20 PM

May 25, 2004

in defense..

reggie wouldve been better off takin a 3-ptr..

DISCLAIMER: this entry is almost ALL basketball, so proceed to go where only the superficial have gone before..

omigawd, last nites pistons-pacers game was probly the best game ive seen all season (i missed game 5 of the lakers-spurs) and was definitely the greatest defensive game ive EVER seen..

i was in utter awe, gushin durin and after the game cuz neither team let up on D. and esp in the 2nd, detroit clamped down on indy (how many clichés can he pull out?), limitin em to only 24 pts (zilch for jermaine). indy had 58 missed FG attempts and 19 of em were blocked!!

but of course, no block was bigger both in feat and in significance than tayshaun princes game-saving swat on reggie miller..

to sum up quickly, detroit was only up by 2 when billups loses the ball. its quickly flipped to a streakin reggie for wut-would-be-99-out-of-100-times-an-easy-layupl; he was easily five steps ahead of everyone!! but as he approached to basket, he slightly let up and in swooped a where-da-hell-did-he-come-from tayshaun prince to deflect the ball JUST before it hits the backboard!!

prince, of couse, goes flyin into the fourth row as i scream (yeah, it was 11pm) for havin seen the most sensational play all year!! i think the fact it saved the game for the pistons both amplified tayshauns effort and desire to get there while also necessitatin it. larry brown said it may have been the greatest hustle play hes ever witnessed..

afterwards, espn had a great freeze-frame of exactly how far away prince was from reggie when reggie got the ball. miller was 2/3 down court in the center lane while tayshaun was crossin the halfcourt marker next to the scorers table (the left side). somehow, he accelerates that full length to close the gap and deny a game-tieing basket. i may hate him for bein a wildcat, but man--he can plaaaaaay..

i was bein so silly afterwards cuz i could not stop smilin and gushin over the game; esther was like, "why are you laffing?" and i proceeded to bore her to death explainin my idiotic idiosyncrasy..

mungmungdawg and i were talkin once over how much i luv defense. he said id probly luv a game w/ the score endin up in the 40s--this was close enough (72-67)..

see the thing is while most low-scoring games can be blamed on offensive futility, i believe this game was dictated by defensive superiority. yeah, there were some bad shots and poorly executed plays, but the game was about contestin every basket and makin the opponent take jumpshots..

- by the way, the hidden play of tayshauns spectacular block was rip hamilton followin up tayshauns block to grab the ball before it went out-of-bounds thus reclaimin possession for detroit and gettin the opportunity to solidify their lead..

- which reminds me of one other thing, isnt it amazin at how similar rips game is to reggie millers? runnin all over the place, behind double-screens and back-picks to get open. reggie in fact dubbed rip: "mini-me". the primary difference in the two (besides age) is reggie is a better 3-pt shooter (no, really??) and rip is better w/ the ball in his hands..

but it was great cuz there was one sequence in the game yester when reggie flopped to draw an offensive foul on rip and bout two mins later, rip flopped to do the same to reggie. touché..

- okay, one MORE thing about detroit: why do i like the pistons so much? i think i simply luv how the team emphasizes defense and how joe dumars has constructed the team. bringin in rasheed was the clutch cuz now there are two--not towers but--imposin big men anchorin the painted area defensively. in fact, i wonder why larry brown doesnt experiment more w/ a 3-2 zone?

bulls dvd set? cmon, just call it an mj showpiece..

- "WUT TIME IS IT?? GAME TIME, WHOOOMP!!"

so speakin of basketball, oooooooooooh yeeeeeeeeaaah..

i freaked early last week when i saw this set finally comin to dvd. every yr, the nba puts out a video of the championship-winning teams season. obviously, in the 90s the bulls had six videos. since this was the time of the roman empire, however, they were all on VHS and i had actually been meanin to dig em out of my closet to watch cuz they make for a fun and exciting viewin..

each "video" is bout an hour and proceeds chronologically through the season, w/ the primary emphasis on the finals--or shall we call it, mjs stage. in fact, all the videos are basically jordan luv-fests but i like em more than the jordan-emphasised videos (aka, come fly w/ me) cuz i get to see how he does wut he does in the context of the season..

gawd, im droolin already..

(funny how ive juxtaposed the bulls next to the pistons in this entry..)

- one last thought, am i missin out by not watchin the sopranos? i guess itd be different if we actually had hbo, but should i be rentin the dvds? i guess i just like to see wut all the fuss is about cuz the fact there is fuss at all indicates, hmmm--maybe thats a pretty good show..

as if we dont have a hard enough time watchin the "latest" movies--is kill bill out on dvd? (haha)

Posted by cpaik at 10:48 AM

May 24, 2004

you say cicada, i say damn-annoying..

for those of us so blessed to live in an area in which we cohabitate w/ the luvly cicadas, how do they make you feel?

i myself am pretty SICK of em. cuz of the stoopid tree beautifully wastin space in our front lawn, every mornin we carefully tiptoe down our walkway to avoid crunchin on a cicada. its literally a m-i-n-e-f-i-e-l-d..

growin up in nova, i remember em from the fourth grade. gawd, they were everywhere. once, i was playin outside by myself (haha, yeah--as oppose to w/ my brothers) flingin around a yo-yo out in the front yard (i had just read how yo-yos were originally used as weapons in the philippines--yes, these are now toys for children). so naturally, i ended up hurlin one into my parents bathroom window (nice). fortunately it only shatters the outer glass layer, so it wasnt a huge problem. but we didnt get it fixed for months and in that time, that broken window became the home to at least 30 or 40 molten cicada skins. it was quite a sight, esp for the guys who came to fix it (haha, suckers)..

but--i was talkin bout this yester w/ a couple ole friends--i dont remember the sound at all!! i have no recollection of ANY cicada noise much less one so damn pervasive..

man is it loud!! those cicadas are frickin merciless!! and apparently, its only the males who produce the sound--guess no matter wut the species, guys will always be horndogs..

no joke, everytime i go upstairs im like lookin around for an open window--it cant be THAT loud, can it?? i think it may be particularly bad where we live cuz i was down in nova yester and it was a low hum compared to the full-throttle high-pitched sonic onslaught we experience up here in balmore..

gawd, cicadas are so rude--how would they like it if i anchored myself to a tree and belted out an atonal shrill (id sing a tri-tone) all day w/ my whiny, howling cacophony of a voice??

cicadas, hurry up and go back to frickin sleep--funny, i have the same thought when seated in front of a cryin spawn-of-the-devil infant on an airplane..

haha (i laugh but do not joke)..

--

so since i hardly ever present anythin interestin on this gawd-forsaken site, i figured postin some links ive come across recently may help better my fellow (wo)man..

for those in desperate want of a 1 GB gmail account, check out gmail swap. offer somethin up to the people who google deemed cool and just maybe theyll send you an invite. course as one person put it, "i refuse to whore myself out like that"--to each his own..

ever wonder wut time of day you best function (morning for me)? or conversely, are most tired (2pm, almost on the dot)? check out the knacker factor (those brits are w/o peer in their use of adjectives--"are you mental?" haha..)

re-visit your childhood (requires java)..

so after havin seen all 325 episodes of law & order (almost), i finally got the inclination to read up on who miranda (as in "miranda rights") actually was..

i dont really care anymore cuz i think george lucas is an idiot, but heres a sarcastic (have i ever written this word down before?) article on how to improve the brown, clumpy water flushin down the toilet that is star wars..

and for the true believers like me, it is all about madden (thanks, popo)..

Posted by cpaik at 10:35 AM

May 14, 2004

my world has just shrunk..

have the skies parted? are we witnessin a miracle before our eyes??

yes, i have relented--hallelujah..

« out w/ the old..

..and in w/ the new »

on a much angrier note, hate those damn lakers. how da hell is it possible to make a catch-turn-and-shoot in 0.4 secs?!

Posted by cpaik at 10:50 AM

May 11, 2004

now, we return to our regularly-scheduled superficial sports crap..

curses dont win championships..

ooooooooooooh yeeeeeeeeaaah..

only three months til the new madden hits me in my euphoric face. for now, i will continue buryin myself (when esther lets me) in last years game. can you believe its the only game i play, period?

i should sell all my other games since ive effectively sold my soul to the ea sports devil..

- so thanks to ray lewis' agent, the ravens are now sunk for the season. cmon, who doesnt believe in the madden curse??

good for the skins though, since we are actually playin em this year. but not quite a rivalry since we re not even in the same conference..

- i remember a time in college when i used to scoff at my roommate (sorry, popo) and whoever else for goin gaga over madden. i didnt understand how flippin thru pages upon pages of diagrams and controllin pixelated players could translate into fun. now, i scoff at my younger and foolish self and cant imagine life w/o it. thank you, ea sports =)..

- although many would say the nba playoffs have been quite laborious (wut?? we re only in the 2nd round?! i thought it was the beginnin of the new season..), ive found it to be very excitin. esp when i consider how many of the teams left have a legitimate chance to win it all..

all four western ballclubs, of course, have a bona fide shot. but for the first time since mj retired-retired, the east is representin w/ contenders of their own. my list, in order:

san antonio - the favorites thanks to td and esp tp, although tonite is a very big game..

the lakers - the other favorites; while shaq and kobe are vital, i think the mailman is the key (the PF position is so important in the triangle)..

detroit - if they get past indy, their suffocatin defense (thanks to the wallaces cloggin the middle) will give em a chance..

indiana - if they get past detroit, their sound execution of a half-court offense will give em a chance..

minnesota - while da kid may be mvp, its e.t. whos steppin up (as he usually does) for the playoffs. but theyll have a tough time gettin past the spurs or lakers in the conf finals..

sacramento - their beautiful, free-flowin offense works so well but only for three-and-a-half qtrs. like minny, probly wont get past td or shaq..

i dont really see the other two teams (the nets and miami) as havin a chance if they were to make it to the finals. size and half-court offense reign in the postseason..

- the other thing ive found quite fascinatin from these playoffs is how superb point guard play has been. think about it: tony parker, mike bibby, sam cassell, and dwayne wade (a rookie!)--all playin like monsters as they lead their team to victory. and the funny part is theyre not even playin like traditional points--these are scoring guards at the one! their ability to penetrate and pull-up for the shot is wut seems to be causin problems defensively for their opponents..

..at least until they face a bigger player guardin em--like kobe on parker and latrell on bibby. still, those four are creatin huge plays for their teams..

- lastly, i was readin page 2 and found the caption for this image absolutely hilarious..

even after the two lets-just-pretend-they-never-happened seasons w/ the whizzers, mj is still king (63 pts against the larrys celtics, are you kiddin me??)..

Posted by cpaik at 05:21 PM

May 05, 2004

cinco de mayo..

happy mexican independence day!! wutever that means..

- one pet peeve of mine--actually, it cant just be a peeve i personally own since i cant imagine anyone else really disagreein w/ me--is when theres urine ALL OVER the ground next to and in front of the urinal. not just splashes here and there, but when theres one puddle extendin from one side to the other..

this egregious act exists at work for me. the janitor dutifully cleans the bafroom nightly, so in the mornin all is dry. by mid-afternoon nearly everyday, pee surrounds the urinal (we have one of those not embedded on the wall so it stands off the floor)..

now i can understand someone missin and hittin the ground behind the urinal. but IN FRONT OF IT??!! cmon!! where am i suppose to stand to pee??!! from five feet away?? do you know how much pressure i hafta exert to make that kinda distance?? and wut am i suppose to say when someone walks in behind me?? "uhhh, im just testin myself"..

anyways, that kills me. but i guess i can imagine worse things. like if someone missed the toilet--while takin a #2..

- esther was tellin me yester that i sound too formal in this blog. so i guess wut shes sayin is she d rather hear the real immature and idiotic me--the way i am w/ her..

hmm, i didnt think i was formalizin my speech at all. so if i am, how can i sound more norma--er, sorry--CHARLESlike (aka, abnormal)?

- for the dorks like me, this picture is not an image..

- i know i (was suppose to have) learned about ancient civilizations in high school. but now that im a little older, readin about em again/for-the-first-time is so enlightenin..

Posted by cpaik at 05:47 PM

May 03, 2004

monday morning $%#&*@%&$#!!!!

i had a pretty crap morning of a morning..

forget the fact i spent four hrs dewormin my stoopid computer (yes, i work in frickin IT). on my way to work, i almost got into another accident thanks to a lady driver (no, im not stigmatizin) who--before hurriedly switchin lanes--refused to check her blind spot, which i, umm lets see--HAPPENED TO BE IN..

so next thing i know, im slammin on the brakes and blarin my horn--which is sayin a lot for the passive-aggressive me--as my car came w/in a couple inches of hittin her damn car. as the adrenaline leveled, she sheepishly drove ahead and switched back into her rightful lane as i passed (i wanna say "pissed on") her, cursin like a sailor over the radio..

i hate drivin in the city--i DESPISE it. esp in baltimore which so far has shown me nothin but to be full of inconsiderate and unaware drivers. "inconsiderate" i can actually deal w/ cuz i dont feel bad utterin sweet niceties at em in a foreign language cuz i can write em off as bein a bad person. but "unaware", there is no hope--how can i deal w/ someone who simply doesnt know better?? anger and resentment become fueled by bewilderment over their cluelessness..

after pullin into my garage fumin over the near-collision, i wondered if it would be worth hirin a chauffeur to take me to work in the mornings..

- esther hates the way i drive, which actually has nothin to do w/ the way i drive but rather w/ how i respond to the drivin of others. someone changes into my lane w/o a turn signal and/or a wave of the grateful hand, i respond w/ a mental finger. someone honks at me for changin into his lane a full five secs before he wouldve gotten there, i mouth obscenities and stab an imaginary voodoo doll..

ill admit, im pretty aggressive behind the wheel (have i mentioned i prophesy i will die in a fiery, yet spectacular car crash?). i drive faster than steadier and usually weave in and out when its convenient. but nothin pisses me off more than the discourteous and self-righteous driver. okay, so im a hypocrite cuz i am in fact showin myself to be self-righteous. but at least, i frickin know to check my blindspot before switchin lanes..

i h-a-t-e bad drivers..

- as far as the weekend, esther and i enjoyed love actually and big fish. i have yet to see a british romantic comedy that i have not fancied and will always cherish tim burtons concoctions of fantastic sentimentality..

i particularly latched onto the ending of big fish--while a little sappy, i thought it ended beautifully. that would be nice--to die w/ everyone you knew and touched celebratin your life..

- when i was little(r), my life used to be run by movies. as soon as the latest flick came out, it had to be watched--not the day after, but the day of. or the nite before at the so-called sneak preview..

call it progress but nowadays, i actually wait til the dvd is out. or more correctly, i forget about it til i see on the shelves of blockbuster. and even then, its not an urgent mission. in fact, its almost like a nuisance that needs to be taken care of--a light bulb to be changed or a cute needin to be bandaged. somethin i just hafta "get over with" (esther luvs hearin that phrase). i cant really explain why. i wouldnt say its that my interest in films has waned--maybe just my priorities have changed..

in fact, i would now say tv ru(i)ns my life. esp that forsaken tnt channel which for the nba games alone would destroy me, but to syndicate law & order wipes out any semblance of life i should possibly have..

- one thing im tryin to solidify in my blogwritin is the consistency w/ which i leave off the g when i use a word normally endin in -ing. i hate how i sporadically leave it off some words while keepin it on others. and recently, i recognized i would prefer leavin it off only when usin a word as a noun or as part of a verb participle. i will try and keep it when usin an adjective..

why? who knows--in fact, i dont even understand why i like takin out the g in the first place..

oh wait, i do know--i think its cuz i sometimes feel its easier to read or say wut im thinkin if i dont hafta read or say that g in my mind. like the sentence "sounds" smoother when i hear it in my head..

yeah, like that makes any sense--rubbish..

- so wuts worse? a rainy humid day or a sunny humid day?

i hate rain cuz i hate havin to deal w/ the messiness of bein wet. so if its humid and rainy, then one would think id hate it more, right? well, at least when its rainin, im already dealin w/ the moisture. but if its sunny and the humidity is intoxicatin, then that just ruins wutever joy i could derive out of it--kinda like a missed opportunity..

- i dunno where da hell that thought came from but i think im still steamin over that driver this mornin..

man, this is a pretty incensed entry. i wonder if most people think of me as a quiet-natured and light-hearted guy, which i think i am for the most part. except when im drivin. then i basically become the hulk on wheels..

yeah, im a terrible person..

Posted by cpaik at 06:16 PM