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October 08, 2004
bodily malfunctions..
i had this weird thought just a moment ago and its on a very luvly subject, so bear w/ me..
esther (shes gonna kill me) only visits the throne probly three or four times a week AT MOST. our dogs, on the other hand, go at least TWICE A DAY w/o fail. isnt that bizarre?
i mean, we re talkin about at least a 30-50 lb difference and yet, the smaller creatures produce the larger quantities..
(and its no contest w/ me, so we wont go there)
men often say takin (or is it "makin"?) dumps is "like clockwork"--well, for dogs it IS clockwork. they always hafta go twice a day. no less, sometimes more..
esp w/ our princess of a yellow lab, stella (who rules the house and all its inhabitants). she knows to only go when shes outside. the thing is if i dont bring her back in after shes done, she ll just go again a few mins later. and again if shes still out. i sometimes stand in awe--she is m-a-c-h-i-n-e..
on the other hand, esther--stellas cross-species twin--has no bowel movement wutsoever. okay, maybe a few times a week. but if she only poos every so often while i drop the kids like theres no tomorrow, how come she pees like every 30 mins? seriously, even when shes had nothin to drink for a couple hrs its "i gotta go pee" every commercial break..
course, im the exact opposite--i probly take a dump twice as often as i take a leak. seriously, ask esther (if you really wanna--im sure she would luv for you to broach the subject w/ her). and it doesnt help that i use four times as much toilet paper as a "normal" human being. but deviant lavatory habits are a blog for another day..
anyways, i dunno wut point im tryin to make. either:
1) dogs are lucky they dont hafta clean up after themselves..
b) women are lucky cuz they save money by spendin less on toilet paper..
or
d) men are lucky cuz we lose a couple lbs everyday after visitin the bathroom..
Posted by chars at October 8, 2004 12:59 PM